


Fight Me

by NerdyNinja



Category: Senyuu.
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Modern AU, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:11:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNinja/pseuds/NerdyNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a text post from Tumblr.</p>
<p>Elf November has landed himself in the hospital after conducting one of his crazy experiments and is so bored he could ram his head into the wall.</p>
<p>The only bright side? A nurse by the name of Alf Parkington.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fight Me

Elf has learned recently that extended hospital stays are _extremely_ boring.

He had read the same magazines at least four times, there was never anything good on TV(they didn’t even have any channels with anime!), and because he had a room all to himself there was no one to talk to.

He didn’t get any visitors either.

That last fact irked him a bit, but it wasn’t like he had any friends or family to play the visitor role.

The tanned, and thoroughly bandaged, man mentally sighed. He had brought this on himself, really. For the sake of his own curiosity, Elf had pushed his luck repeatedly, staging ever more dangerous experiments that, by all rights, should have gotten him killed years ago.

That luck had to run out at some point, and, finally, run out it did.

That’s how Elf found himself admitted to the hospital for moderate chemical and fire burns, countless cuts from broken glass, two broken fingers, a handful of fractures, a dislocated ankle, a minor concussion….Was there anything else? Probably, but that’s not important.

The important thing is that he was trapped in a sterile prison, assaulted by the scent of antiseptic and bored. _out. of. his._ ** _mind_**.

There was only one oasis in this desert, one light of salvation in the abysmal darkness, and it came in the form of the (kind of cute) nurse that came to check his vitals—the very nurse he was currently waiting for under a mountain of pillows.

Right on cue, Alf Parkington opened the door and walked in to find the sole patient in this room buried under every pillow he could get his hands on.

“FIGHT ME!!” Elf’s challenge was muffled by the mound of fabric and cushioning covering him, but Alf could understand it all the same.

The young nurse approached his patient with an amused smile and proceeded to remove the pillows. “Maybe later Elf. For now, let’s check your vitals.”

As Elf was slowly unearthed from his self-imposed burial he informed Alf that he would hold the other man to his word and prepared to have his vitals taken yet again. It was routine for them to be taken every hour.

“So when am I goin’ to get that long awaited sponge bath huh? I thought that was standard procedure round here?” Elf flashed a cheeky grin and waggled his brows, wishing that he was wearing something more flattering than a hospital gown.

The expression Alf gave him was a perfect blend of exasperated and unamused. “If you want to be clean that badly, I would be more than happy to escort you to the shower…and leave you to drown.”

Elf gasped dramatically and asked how he could treat his precious patients like that.

The two fell into a now familiar routine of back and forth banter, Elf stating ridiculous comments or trying to tease the other man while Alf responded with ample snark and wit. Elf also took the time to admire his attending nurse while the man focused on taking notes.

As always, Alf was immaculate in his pristine white uniform that showed not a single wrinkle. His long, ash blond hair was neatly tied at the small of his back, accept for a rebellious flyaway hair at the top of his head, a trait that Elf honestly found adorable.

However, his favorite feature would have to be Alf’s eyes. They were almost always half-lidded, as though he were daydreaming or lost in thought, but the intensity and absolute focus radiating from them implied anything but. Best of all, they were the exact same shade of storm grey as Elf’s own. The first time they met, Elf had joked that since eyes were the windows to the soul, maybe it meant they were soulmates. Alf had been stunned by the brazen comment before blushing and lightly smacking him over the head with his clipboard. (Elf thought that he probably would have hit harder if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had a concussion.)

“Alright, that’s it for now. I’ll see you in another hour Elf.” Alf gave him one last, small smile before turning around and leaving.

Elf sighed, already bored again. A straight-laced guy like Alf probably wouldn’t go for an obvious troublemaker like him, but at least flirting was something fun he could do, even if nothing came of it.

He picked up the TV remote and half-heartedly flipped though the channels, his mind on the next time Alf would come visit.

 

* * *

 

 

“FIGHT ME!!” Elf shouted as Alf walked in the door.

At least, that’s what he tried to shout, but his lungs chose that exact moment to betray him. Maybe he should have made sure that he finished swallowing his glass of water before issuing the challenge. He barely got the first word out before he was assaulted by a coughing fit and splattered his remaining water all over himself.

_Smooth, Elf. Real smooth._

Alf burst out laughing and walked up to him. “Nah, I know you’d win.”

Elf glanced up at the wide smile on the nurse’s face and decided it was okay that he’d made a fool of himself.

 

* * *

 

 

This time, Elf was going for more of a surprise approach.

As Alf entered the room, Elf jumped out from behind the door. “FIIIGHT MEEE!!!”

He didn’t count on Alf having violent reflexes.

No sooner than Elf had revealed himself, Alf spun around in fright and decked him right in the face. **Hard**. The force was enough to knock Elf back and slam his head against the wall.

The blond gasped in horror. “ELF! OH SHIT, PLEASE TELL ME I DIDN’T GIVE YOU ANOTHER CONCUSSION!!”

Alf frantically herded his patient back to his bed and thoroughly examined him for signs of any serious injury, scolding him all the while for pulling such a stunt. He gently carded his fingers through Elf’s fluffy hair, searching for any abnormalities where the foolish man’s head had hit the wall.

Elf considered this a victory.

 

* * *

 

 

Having learned from his previous mistake, Elf wisely chose not to startle Alf again. This time, he patiently waited for the other man to approach and begin his assessment.

As Alf wrapped the blood pressure gauge around his arm, Elf slowly leaned forward. He watched Alf’s expression change from confused to flustered until he was close enough to whisper in his ear.

“Fight me.”

Elf promptly got a pillow to the face.

 

* * *

 

 

Elf kept up both his playful challenges and outrageous flirtations during his entire stay. But, eventually, all things come to an end.

It was now over a week since he had been admitted, and today was the day of his discharge.

Elf lamented the fact that he wouldn’t get to see(read: tease) Alf anymore, but then again, he most he had ever hoped for was just to stave off boredom. Now he just had to suck it up and move on. He’d come up with plenty of new experiments to try while he was trapped in bed, maybe those would take his mind off of his doomed-from-the-start crush.

He glanced over at the clock. He was due to be discharged at 11:30, and before that Alf was supposed to make one final check in. The clock read 10:57.

Three minutes later, like clockwork, Alf walked in with, to Elf’s surprise, two steaming cups of coffee in addition to his clipboard.

He even seemed almost bashful about it. “Thought you might like some to start your day off, I remember you said that you liked this flavor so…” He let the sentence trail off.

“Aw, thanks Alf! Bit late to be drinkin’ coffee, but I’m not complainin’.”

Elf expected Alf to hand him his cup and then take his readings, but the other man surprised him again. Alf set both cups aside and started to take the measurements first. He said that he didn’t want anything to interfere with the results, but Elf felt like that was just a flimsy excuse. The fact that Alf wouldn’t look him in the eye and had the tiniest of blushes didn’t help his case.

Now Elf was confused. Alf only blushed when Elf made a particularly scandalous pass at him or when he was flush with anger, and he _never_ averted his eyes.

Before he could question this strange behavior, Alf launched into a lecture on how to not exacerbate his still healing injuries. He warned that just because they didn’t need to be bandaged anymore, didn’t mean that they couldn’t get infected or reopened. By the time he finished, he had taken all of the measurements he needed and stood up to leave.

Only then did Elf finally get his coffee. He was about to thank Alf for handing it to him when he realized that Alf hadn’t let go yet, and that the blush had come back full force.

“S-so, umm…It’s..going to be pretty quiet without you around. I’m…going to miss you around here.”

Elf’s jaw dropped. He wanted to say something, but his traitorous mouth refused to work right.

“A-anyway. That’s all I wanted to say! Bye Elf!” With that, Alf hastily made his retreat before Elf could regain any semblance of coherence.

_Stupid! You should have said somethin’! That was totally an event flag!_

Elf groaned in despair. He missed the perfect chance, and now if he wanted to talk to Alf again he'd have wait around like a stalker.

He would have smacked himself in the head if he wasn’t holding that cup of coffee Alf had given him. The cup of coffee he should probably drink before it gets cold. The cup of coffee that he just noticed had something written on the side.

In bold, neat handwriting along the side of the cup was a phone number and the words, “Fight me?”

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was a short drabble I've been meaning to write for quite a while. I had hoped that writing it now would help get some creativity going again.
> 
> As I stated in the summary, this fic was based on a text post I found on Tumblr one day. The scenario just screamed "Elf" and I knew I had to write it. I would link you to said post but for whatever incomprehensible reason I didn't favorite the post, I only copied and pasted the text.
> 
> [My nurse just came in to check my vitals and I told him to fight me from beneath a mountain of pillows. He just moved my pillows and told me maybe later.
> 
> He just came in again and when I tried to tell to him to fight me again I started coughing and I couldn’t breathe and then he just smiled and told me he won’t fight me because he knows I’d win.
> 
> Apparently I seduced him with my drool and terrible lungs because he wrote his number on a coffee from the giftshop under “fight me?”]
> 
> I seriously considered writing Alba as the nurse, but I am RosAl trash through and through. I couldn't bear writing Alba paired with someone else.


End file.
